Hey ppl, sorry about the disappearance, alrights, these is for those who know me, who know what im going through, who know that i have not seen ...him really for 6 months, its going to be 7mths soon. 

and now we're in a tangled situation which keeps on getting twisted. separated, yes we are...i depressedly admit. 

I miss him, i really do. Those nights spent just talking and wondering about the future together, those nights that brought tears to our eyes, crying over the webcam together, him giving me a hug from a computer screen, sleeping together using skype.

girls i don't have those sweet memories that brought you and your own boyfrens together but i found love in a loveless place. there's so much that i cant let go 

• those sweet greetings when he comes online, calling me pretty, beautiful...secretly  (im sure he knows), i appreciate it deeply though i can never comprehend which part of  my face has alittle beauty
• those voice msg with his gentle voice 
• that video where he sang in the dead of the night for me when i was breaking down during my major exams
• for a short period those painstakingly computer drawn cartoon for me to cheer me up
• his tumblr with posts for me
• his tumblr music that i used as a lullaby before i sleep
• how he proudly tells his friends and cousins who am i 
• him tricking me to say iloveyou again and again on the webcam
• his freaking clear white face that blushes easily
• his adorable childish side
• him being close to mommy
• respecting me
• defending me if ever somebody speaks ill of me
• patiently waiting for me to talk whats really on my mind
• stubborn enough handle a boyish girl
• so much more but i cant pen down, i feel the tears swelling up

not that i'm a crazed girl, not that im a desperate, just that i fell in love thats all. in this r/s all we had were each other, all we could do was to know each other more, that was how it was based. the physically aspect was a luxcury that we'd only be able to afford if we're able to get through these tough times. i don't want to rush into a relationship no longer...

this time, i want to develop a bond without even needing to be a attached. cos i myself am not ready as how i am...

so pls those whom im close to, stop those hurtful talks, they dont help me, they turn me more insane. stop talking about him and me like that just because we're no longer together. cos you ppl don't know a thing about what we two went through, just to keep this relationship going. i dont need to be attached to love him....i just want to know darling, cos i know you stilldo ...

pls can you tell me once again

iloveyou?

there isnt a need to be in a relationship to know that there's a bond