They cry, I cry- Willow Rosenberg

I was reading a manga about a couple, it so happened that i was able to relate to it one way or another.

Tough love is the best kind of love

so yes, about the comic. It's about this guy who crashed into a girl's home with mild force ( no sex, just plainly went in a slept on the sofa). Apparently, the girl had agreed to help him look after an abandoned cat which turned out to be him. Throughout his stay with her, she learnt alot of things about him which was very much hidden. Not to mention his affair with one of the college teacher in return for elite treatments in school and also a place to stay.

In the end, the guy came to realize what he had set out for, that is to be a brilliant make-up artist and no longer want to rely on the teacher. The girl (predictively) fell in love>he made love to her>the next morning he disappeared........She decided to wait for him, even while there were days that she felt lonely and stuff...

alittle crazy isnt it? sounds like a  F.... and go situation where the guy disappears after he had satisfaction. alittle twist...he did gave her an unseen assurance.


What about this story ???? Basically, the guy felt bad that as he was then, he in no ways could be able to a guy worthy of the girl. So, in a tough decision, decided to disappear and work himself up till one day, she came home noticing the lights were on and on the sofa was a guy....looking somewhat different yet alittle of the same as before... it ended with this

I remembered that i never found the spare keys i gave him

so yes.... in my situation now...i myself feel the loneliness coming up when my sister, frens and mommy's asleep and my insomnia kicks in. Im very much trying to kill this habit as i did tell him i'll stop staying up late. Back to the topic...so basically, a little thought process happens and i figured that...

sometimes... for a guy to be truly able to protect all that he loves, he has to go through a pressure cooker ( a tough time) in his lifetime which will push him to transform from a boy to a man ( in a sense?).....Still, initially, not that im being sexist, i feel that because women tend to be emotional, the guy has to be like a strong pillar to support not just the relationship but the both of them. It certainly is alittle dumb for a guy to instead of using his own earned money, saved up money given from his parents to get a girl a present like an engagement ring doesnt it?


so girls out there...who are really serious about a relationship that'll bring even after marriage...(albeit i cant actually talk to too larh, cos i myself and feeling like ive been stabbed with a dull knife)... there'll be a point of time, the both of you'll will go through that'll strike right into your head...it'll make you want to mature...it's part and parcel of wanting to be a better gf/bf/girl/boy for that special someone. Dont brood over it and think that's FML FML FML FML... one day you'll look back and find that it's necessary especially when you're going to enter adulthood...

( disclaimer; this post are just my thoughts when i think about a topic like this)

This part is for you and me...

Church had made me felt more at eased... i prayed but a coutless times for the both of us. Sometimes, it's hard to find hope in a hopeless place. Then again, God is always merciful. Pastor talked about hope and how we shouldn't have the ' Hope for the best, prepare for the worst' attitude. Instead, draw hope and really believe that God's planning, be it good or bad just know that it's God's will and that no matter how dark the situation seems...God wont forsake you or me. My o level result's later, by now, you knowing me, i'd be getting more and more paranoid and scared and wishing you're here for the comfort. Though, i wish you're still here with me to go through this. I know this is something i have to face alone because, whatever results has solely got to do with me, i'll go through with whatever God gives me for the O level score...Be it bad or good. 


this verse is going to be my focus for the week, so far it's been where i found my comfort from as well
  And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations(obstacles), knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance ,character; and character;hope.


I hope you'll one way or another draw strength, by praying i gain alittle strength to press on. even a simple prayer works wonders. 


Im really still worried...how are you now? are managing, is the tension subsiding? is everything going down?....are you coping better now? are you taking care of your health? dont forget your lip balm...pls have a proper diet... and attack ( irregular breathing) lately? i've so much to ask...but only in time, when you return.