♔ underneath her skin ♔

out of the woods

2012-01-26T00:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/embed/6I3kgbBp6PY</a>" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

Okie, listen while reading/listen before reading, up to you :}

anyways, topic for my post this time is got to do with friends. I sneaked out of my house the other night and cabbed down to Macpherson Mrt station to find a joie. She's a girl whom i share a good relation with. Sometimes, she'll mia from my life for awhile and i'd wonder what happened to being close. Then again, i tend to forget that sometimes, i have to be the one to start talking first. There are friends who do value just that i forever tend to underestimate how much they do because im too absorbed with my idiotic thoughts and self-pity. (hands up if you do feel like that at times).

If you want to meet someone, invite; its that simple, dont complicate things

That be a lesson that took me some time to realize heh.So yes friends, i bet you hate it too rights? when you feel forgotten by friends you that you literally do value against the entire social circle that you're in. Sometimes, when you're in a dark moment and you ring up/text a friend expecting a reply for some peace of mind. However, sadly they happened to be busy and you end up sitting in your little 'emo corner' and go FML even my friend does not want to consult me. Hmmmm, been there done that, got over it.

Firstly, after some times of thought processing, i came to believe that:

we've only 1 life, no such thing as 'in another life~~~~' , dont spend the bulk of it sulking and believing that you're totally forgotten. If you're forgotten then stand up and learn to be someone who'll make ppl's eyes flood when you pass on. You came to life crying, you die with cherished people crying, that be the saddest but also the greatest victory in your life.
Complication....what do i mean????.... naturally as humans we're selfish larh, we do not want to be the one that starts, we want to be the one that has been called out. Nonetheless, understand that as everyone around grows a year older, they also tend to get even busier and they may not forget you but the thought of spending time with you hasnt really gotten into their mind yet ince you're the first....whys not be the one to send an invitation, you'll never know the outcome :}
You yourself have to busy yourself, if you be so free like a lurk and feel so jackassed because everyone else are caught up with life, then find something to make your life more meaningful; you're only young once, make the most out of it. Live in such a manner you accomplish things that you thought you wont be able to do when you grow older and you're a mom/dad by then.
Just because it seems that everybody hates you, its just SEEMINGLY, there are bound to be some people who actually cares and doesnt mind being good friends with you. I learnt that during my 'O' level year when i drift from friends and became naise friends with a few others who acutally show that they do care for my existance and i marked the end of my o level period with a good departure
Life is harsh enough already, being alittle more optimistic helps you go through it a hell lot easier.

so yes about my night spent with joie? it was nostalgic. It felt like a paradise get away from that lonely pace that i was going while im at home and wondering how piercing reality felt. Imagine 2 17 old girls, mousing around and walking in light steps to bypass her parents'room ( yes i sneaked in). then chatting in the dead of the night. It was a fantastic get away at only $5++ (cab fare). wonder isn't it:} so yes, the advantages of calling the shots sometimes are but a blessing to those who are weary of the many down sides life has got to offer....my main advice?

live life the simple way :}....

want to go out?........invite'
miss someone?........just tell the person, regardlessly
love somebody...... (inspired by We bought a Zoo film)... acutally, 1min for those weak heart, 30 secs for those who are headstrong
bored?.... seek out something to do rather than procrastinate about it
in a complicated situation?..... be the one on the less complicated side
tired?.............. take a breather, it does wonders
a friend drift away from you?...........be the one to pull him/her back or simply move on :}
broke up?.....still love him and he loves you? be happy about it and pray for a miracle ( this is just for me larh).
pessimistic?.... change/ get the hell out of this blog
there's b!tches and bastard in your life?..... lift your head high and walk away, its altogether ACTUALLY...your choice if you allow them or not. they dont stay long anyways. revenge is sweet when you dont lift a finger and let God do it for you. * personal experience*

real life superman

2012-01-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

I dedicate this song to him once again here. You know ppl, he's always my superman. I know, he cant fly, he cant take down those villians, he cant jump mountains, neither can he defend earth.However, he always shows up right on time, when my world's crashing down and just listens and talk to me. He doesnt have to talk about whats killing me inside, he just has to talk to me and it magically clears all my thoughts. Thats right, he's my superman.

The sky's always clearer and more beautiful after the rain

i asked him.... tired?,,, he told me physically yes but emotionally no. i was like wow...i told you all those crap and you still aint tired of me....you're really a superman mimick, taking all my nonsense in... you know girls.
i dont need a guy to be like those...holding hands, call me in the dead of the night etc etc.That freaking long list that guys need to fulfill to make us girls feel cherished? he doesnt need to fill them, he already made me feel cherished. Though, i still feel heartbroken cause of all those rumours surrounding him and assholes pushing their luck with me.However,unlike those guys before him and those guys who try now.... he filled the empty space just by being himself, that made me even more sure of how much i still do need him even when i denied myself of all the rest of the male species.

maybe this separation made me cherish him more cause now it really evidently shows. really, i dont get him through, comes like a shadow, gone like a shadow too, tsk businessman tsk tsk.. (shoots ownself -going to take business course too-)....what is it in all this???...its just purely honesty and being yourself...you love a guy?...dont hide even that sad part of you. for example

he did something bad, you shutup about it and you drop hints, he'll see something's a miss but he wont understand cos he's not you . You cannot expect your bf to be a mindreader, you'd be the dumbest girl ever.

Mimick....he never fails to come back when this girl here feels like a fish out of water. There's always these words he'd tell

im here;im not leaving;im not going;im still here

Thats right, Sharon you nuts, you can memorize an O level geography textbook well but you always cant recall that he always tells you that....Because you're so paranoid, you cant flashback about how much this r/s meant to him....how stupid of you :{ hey mimick, you cant tell me this but i can

iloveyou

you the know crazy thing???... i fell in love with a boy, whose afraid of loving a girl, yet im a girl whose already scarred from all the r/s.... i grew to love that childish and carefree part of him, the silliest things his cousins would describe to me about what he does in the name of love, those shy voice msgs he'd sent me, those music he made for me, how he calmly talks to me even when its visible that im talking more and more like a drunken ass cause i had moodswings or being paranoid or stuff. These are some of what he just does.

He doesnt give me flowers, doesnt wait for me by my school gate, he only does the simplest things, things that a guy never does for me. An ex can be sweet, walk me to school and all that, but i experience them so many times before that i couldnt see the love from it anymore, just an obligation that a bf had to do....All he does is be with me, be that pillar i never once had from a guy whose not just supposed to be my bf, he's supposed to be my bestfriend.

He cares about my feelings more than his own

Till the extand, he made sure mommy was there to 'cradle' me even while he's stumbling cos he himself is crying. We fell in love in a hopeless place, now there's a there a part of me thats with him and always will be with him. i proudly admit.

2012-01-20T10:15:00.001-08:00

ahs.... i felt my heart dropped...

2012-01-18T00:19:00.000-08:00

jlkjjlf
Hey ppl, sorry about the disappearance, alrights, these is for those who know me, who know what im going through, who know that i have not seen ...him really for 6 months, its going to be 7mths soon.

and now we're in a tangled situation which keeps on getting twisted. separated, yes we are...i depressedly admit.

I miss him, i really do. Those nights spent just talking and wondering about the future together, those nights that brought tears to our eyes, crying over the webcam together, him giving me a hug from a computer screen, sleeping together using skype.

girls i don't have those sweet memories that brought you and your own boyfrens together but i found love in a loveless place. there's so much that i cant let go

those sweet greetings when he comes online, calling me pretty, beautiful...secretly (im sure he knows), i appreciate it deeply though i can never comprehend which part of my face has alittle beauty
those voice msg with his gentle voice
that video where he sang in the dead of the night for me when i was breaking down during my major exams
for a short period those painstakingly computer drawn cartoon for me to cheer me up
his tumblr with posts for me
his tumblr music that i used as a lullaby before i sleep
how he proudly tells his friends and cousins who am i
him tricking me to say iloveyou again and again on the webcam
his freaking clear white face that blushes easily
his adorable childish side
him being close to mommy
respecting me
defending me if ever somebody speaks ill of me
patiently waiting for me to talk whats really on my mind
stubborn enough handle a boyish girl
so much more but i cant pen down, i feel the tears swelling up

not that i'm a crazed girl, not that im a desperate, just that i fell in love thats all. in this r/s all we had were each other, all we could do was to know each other more, that was how it was based. the physically aspect was a luxcury that we'd only be able to afford if we're able to get through these tough times. i don't want to rush into a relationship no longer...

this time, i want to develop a bond without even needing to be a attached. cos i myself am not ready as how i am...

so pls those whom im close to, stop those hurtful talks, they dont help me, they turn me more insane. stop talking about him and me like that just because we're no longer together. cos you ppl don't know a thing about what we two went through, just to keep this relationship going. i dont need to be attached to love him....i just want to know darling, cos i know you stilldo ...

pls can you tell me once again

iloveyou?

there isnt a need to be in a relationship to know that there's a bond

2012-01-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

take me out take me out TAKE ME OUT.....before the air drives me nuts

2012-01-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

can you help me pls???...........

Heartstrings

2012-01-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

“No matter what happens next time, call me, okay? I’ll run over immediately” —Shin (Heartstrings)

So yes, my heartstrings.... It was pulled and stretched constantly over the weeks and so. I went through the tears, the smiles, the laughter, the severely almost unbearable heartaches with lingering effects, the empty feeling and more. You do the add-on of this list.

How much do i hate it when im insecure as it is and you still have to talk to me in a drunken state :{ you drunk GO SLEEP.were you really drunk :{....i feel so down in the dumps now

listen to this while you click rain and stay on that page or return to read more